Hate Having Photos Taken? Don’t Let Your Insecurities Keep You Out of the Frame
You might have been thinking about booking a photo session for a while now…
Maybe you’re recently engaged, or perhaps you’re expecting a baby, or your kids are growing up at a ridiculous rate. Maybe you just want some beautiful, fresh new family photos.
You know you want to remember this current season of your life.
And maybe, just maybe, you’d really love some photos of the people that you love that actually include you in them for once.
But then there’s that niggly voice in the back of your mind reminding you, “I hate having my photo taken,” or “I’m just not photogenic enough”.
You’re worried about feeling awkward, that you won’t know what to do, or that the only thing your photos will capture is the overwhelming self-consciousness around the way you’ll look in them.
And if any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know that, firstly, you aren’t alone. Many of us find seeing ourselves in photos uncomfortable – and there are psychological reasons behind why this is the case.
More importantly, I really don’t want those insecurities to be the reason you don’t book the session or capture the memories.
Why do so many of us hate photos of ourselves so much?
Have you ever looked in the mirror, thought “Yep, I look alright today,” and then seen a photo of yourself later and thought, “Who even is that person?!”
We’re used to seeing ourselves in a certain way. And that is one reason photos of ourselves can feel so strange.
Most of us spend years seeing our reflection – and a very familiar version of our face and body – looking back at us in the mirror. But a photograph freezes a moment from a different angle and perspective.
Research into self-recognition has discovered that our brains process seeing our own faces differently depending on whether we’re seeing them in a mirror or a photo. And while we’re incredibly familiar with the version of ourselves that we see in a mirror reflection, we’re far less familiar with seeing ourselves as other people do.
There’s another interesting piece of psychology called the ‘mere exposure effect’, which describes our tendency as humans to prefer the things we’re familiar with.
So, when you suddenly see yourself from an unfamiliar angle, in a different light, mid-laugh, or with your face doing something that you didn’t even know it did… your first reaction can quite easily (and understandably!) be to dislike it.
It’s not that the photo is bad, or a bad representation of you, or that you look awful – it’s just that you’re seeing a non-mirrored, and therefore unfamiliar, version of you. A version of you that your brain simply isn’t used to seeing.
And I think that’s a pretty comforting thing to remember.
You don’t have to be “photogenic” to be photographed
Somewhere along the way, it seems many of us have created the idea that some of us are naturally photogenic… and that the rest of us just need to accept we’re terrible in photos.
But being photographed isn’t, and shouldn’t be, about looking a certain way or possessing some innate ability to pose well.
So much of what makes a photograph look and feel beautiful comes down to so much more: the lighting, the environment, the moment, the person in front of the camera and the photographer behind it, and how comfortable the person being photographed feels.
It’s why my job at every single one of my photo sessions is to help you feel something.
To get you interacting, completely naturally, with your kids, or laughing with your partner – fully focusing on simply being yourselves.
You don't need to know what to do, and you definitely don't need to know how to pose. I don't expect you to arrive with a list of poses memorised, ready to perform them perfectly for me. My role is to guide you.
Sometimes that might mean giving you a little prompt, or suggesting where to stand. Other times, I'll get you walking, cuddling, playing, or dancing together, maybe tickling the kids or whispering something ridiculous in your partner's ear. And sometimes I'll simply let you do your thing while I quietly capture what's happening around you.
I want your photos to feel natural, rather than performed.
The aim isn't for you to spend the entire session looking at the camera with a giant, perfectly practised smile. In fact, some of my very favourite images come from the moments when you've completely forgotten there's a camera there at all.
When you’re genuinely connected to the people you love, and enjoying shared time with them, you’re not thinking about where you should put your hands or what your chin is doing. You’re just there – and that’s where the magic happens.
Connection over perfection: capturing the bigger picture
When many of us look at photos of ourselves, we’re usually not looking at the whole thing… We’re zooming in on the tummy. The arms. The chin. The hair. The smile. The little line by your eye that’s crinkled mid-laugh.
So many of us become so focused on the parts of ourselves that we’re conscious of that we completely miss what’s actually happening in the photograph.
When I’m photographing you, I’m not looking at the things you are.
I’m looking at the way your little one’s looking up at you. The way your partner’s hand rests on your back. The belly laughs, the warm cuddles, the wind in your hair, the beautiful chaos of your kids running around in five different directions, the tiny little hand wrapped around your finger.
You might be looking at your tummy – but I’m looking at connection.
And this is probably one of the biggest things I want people to understand about my photo sessions: what we’re chasing isn’t perfection, but connection.
Your family doesn't need to look like someone else's family, your kids don't need to behave perfectly, and you don't need to look like an Instagram model. Your partner doesn't suddenly have to become someone who loves having their photo taken either. (Although if they do, I'll happily take the credit!)
You just need to show up as yourselves.
And we’ll create all the good stuff – the giggles and cuddles, and all of the cheeky moments, the quiet ones, and the tender ones – from there.
When you look back at your photos years from now, it’s the little things that make your family your family that I want you to remember.
Because it’s those little things that give your photographs their warmth, intimacy, and sense of belonging that make them so beautiful – and so unequivocally you.
Something powerful happens when we see ourselves differently
It's one of the reasons I love being a photographer so much: a photograph gives us an opportunity to see ourselves from the outside-in.
We’re all very used to experiencing ourselves from within our own bodies – seeing the world through our eyes, hearing our own voice (both out loud and in our minds), and just generally witnessing our lives from that first-person perspective.
A photograph gives us a brief glimpse of ourselves, and the lives we live, from another point of view.
And it can be surprisingly powerful.
You might see yourself laughing with your kids and realise how happy you actually look. You might see the way your partner looks at you, and suddenly notice something you haven't really stopped to appreciate in a while. You might see yourself as part of your family in a way you haven't allowed yourself to before.
Photography can become a little moment of self-encounter: a chance to see a version of yourself that isn't filtered through the usual list of things you think you need to change.
It doesn't mean you'll all of a sudden automatically love every photograph of yourself that’s ever taken. And it certainly doesn't mean you need to live, laugh, love, and force yourself to think you're beautiful every time you look at an image…
But sometimes, seeing yourself with a little more kindness can mark the beginning of something really lovely.
What if you really just don't like having your photo taken?
Tell me!
Seriously. I'd much rather know that you're feeling super nervous, self-conscious, or uncomfortable than have you silently suffer through a session while I'm happily snapping away.
If there's something you're particularly self-conscious of, we can talk about it.
If you're feeling awkward, we'll slow things down.
If you need a minute, we’ll take a minute.
If you need some direction, I've got you.
And if you need a bit of a laugh to get out of your head, I can definitely help with that, too!
I want you to feel safe, seen, supported, and just like you during your session. Not pressured, not judged or scrutinised, and certainly not like there’s any expectation to perform for the camera.
Of course the photos matter – but to me, so does the experience of having them taken.
The ‘perfect time’ doesn’t exist – and the photos you end up loving most might surprise you
Sometimes the photo you fall most in love with from your session isn't the one that perfectly captured everyone looking at the camera and smiling…
It’s the one where your toddler’s climbing all over you, or where the hair’s blown across your face, or your partner’s looking at you instead of the camera. The one where everyone’s laughing together, or where your baby’s curled tightly into your chest.
And that's because photographs don't just show us what we looked like in that moment – they remind us how the moment felt.
There’s a reason that, throughout the ages, people have held onto old family photos so tightly: they become visual anchors for our memories, helping us remember the people, places, relationships, and seasons of life that we might otherwise struggle to look back upon in quite the same way.
Years from now, you’re not going to look at that one photo and remember whether you thought your arms looked big or awkward that day. You’ll remember how tiny your baby was in those arms, or how you swung your toddler with them, or how they enveloped your partner in a giant hug.
I believe that every version of you deserves photographs. And that includes the version with the messy hair, freckles, laugh lines, or soft tummy.
So don’t wait until you find the perfect outfit, or until your child’s gap-toothed smile phase ends. Don’t wait until you feel more confident, or until life feels more ‘together’.
There’s no such thing as the perfect time – just you, the people you love, and this particular chapter of life you’re living together.
A photo session can be an act of radical self-care and self-expression
There's something incredibly beautiful about allowing yourself to be photographed exactly as you are.
Not because a photo session will magically fix your insecurities. But because it’s a way to capture – and to choose to be present in – the story you're creating with the people you love.
It’s a statement that says: “I was here. I was part of this. This mattered to me.”
You’re not simply being photographed – you’re collaborating in the creation of a visual record; a keepsake of all that you are and all that matters.
Even in a relaxed family session, you're bringing your personality, relationships, and all of those intricate little family dynamics into the frame with you. The camera captures it all.
And you belong in the photographs.
Not because you've finally reached some imaginary standard of looking "good enough", but because you are part of the story.
So, what if you're still nervous?
Something I see again and again in the humans that I get to photograph is that people spend far more time worrying about the photoshoot beforehand than they actually spend feeling uncomfortable during it.
Before, your imagination gets to take centre stage. You can imagine the awkwardness of not knowing what to do, of everyone looking at you, or, worse, coming away with a gallery of photos that you don’t love.
But then you arrive.
We have a chat, we wander around, the kids start playing, and someone inevitably makes a joke. You cuddle your little one, your partner makes you laugh, and slowly you stop thinking about the fact that I'm taking photographs at all.
Before you know it, you're simply spending time together.
That's exactly how I want my sessions to feel: a lot less like a formal "photoshoot", and a lot more like simply hanging out with your favourite people while my camera and I just happen to be there.
I'll meet you where you're at, gently guide you through the session, and create space for you to fully relax into the experience.
Instead of thinking about what you might look like in each photo, you're way too busy thinking about the person you're hugging, the hilarious thing your child just said, or the fact that your partner is making you laugh until your belly hurts.
You're too busy living and enjoying the moment rather than awkwardly attempting to perform it.
And voila: that's when I can capture you.
Natural, warm, connected, a little bit playful – and completely, wonderfully real.
Ready to capture some mementos from the chapter of life you’re currently in – confidently and comfortably?
Get in touch with me to chat about booking your relaxed, fun photo session – and creating a gallery full of photos you and your family will treasure for years to come.
